Being Selfish

I've been selfish with this process.

Not wanting to share, wanting to hog this experience ever since Snarkles came into our lives.

Snarkles is doing well and growing like a weed- I'm happy to report she's out of premie clothes! Well, I say happy, because it means she's thriving, but honestly, it was sad to pack away the little onsies that she will never fit into again.

Unbelievable. Do you hear me?! I'm such a MOM now.

Anyway, the process has been really positive so far. Monday's are typically the most emotional. Snarkles get's picked up at our house by her foster care case worker and taken to visit with her birth parents. It's emotional because these days are the only day I really hear about what's been happening on the case or when I get a chance to ask the random, curious, questions.

So of course I draw my own conclusions or make irrational assumptions while all the possibilities run through my head.

It's hard to foster a newborn, to pour all your energy into this little bundle of warmth and beauty, and not know nearly as much as you would want to know. Are they pursuing a kinship placement? If the case moves to a different county will the child be able to remain in our care? Are the birth parents working their plan? What IS their plan?....you get the point.

We have not begun what they call "shared parenting" where we interact with the birth parents. However, I was sure to send pictures to the first visit and a note to the second.

It's tough, but we have the most amazing support system. I was touched to receive a gift from a lady that I don't know, but who my Mom has been bragging about us to. That's what makes this process amazing. It brings so many people together, gives people a positive feeling about the world. Not that we think we're doing anything great, but while I was driving home today I realized- I so often try to down play what it is we are doing...when really, this IS amazing. It's amazing to not just send a note with Snarkles to her visit.....


...but to get one back.