See the before here...
Friday, January 28, 2011
Thursday, January 20, 2011
{Our} Story's name...
...I think I just personified "Story"- someone with an English major, or with at least better grammar skills than mine, please correct me if I'm wrong!
It's hard to know what to call your Story in the beginning. I imagine that's why many of them {blogs} include the word "journey" in their title. Rarely is a blog going in reverse, my next post isn't going to be about the day before yesterday. Tomorrow's post isn't going to be about the day before the day before yesterday.
If it were, I'd call my Story, THE PAST. Creative. I know.
Anyway, when I called this Story A Distinctive Love and Unique Path I personally thought our love {for children who aren't ours} was distinct.
Distinct[dih-stingkt] -adjective different in nature or quality.
And that our path {in life} was unique.
Unique[yoo-neek] -adjective having no like or equal; unparalleled; incomparable
And while the smaller pieces of our lives may individually fall into those definitions...I'm finding out that there are more young couples than I imagined whose Story is just.like.ours.
It's hard to know what to call your Story in the beginning. I imagine that's why many of them {blogs} include the word "journey" in their title. Rarely is a blog going in reverse, my next post isn't going to be about the day before yesterday. Tomorrow's post isn't going to be about the day before the day before yesterday.
If it were, I'd call my Story, THE PAST. Creative. I know.
Anyway, when I called this Story A Distinctive Love and Unique Path I personally thought our love {for children who aren't ours} was distinct.
Distinct[dih-stingkt] -adjective different in nature or quality.
And that our path {in life} was unique.
Unique[yoo-neek] -adjective having no like or equal; unparalleled; incomparable
And while the smaller pieces of our lives may individually fall into those definitions...I'm finding out that there are more young couples than I imagined whose Story is just.like.ours.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Cat's out of the bag (or box, in Wonky's case)
That's a reference to our dear and lovely (or more accurately, our annoying and moody) cat Wonky, who loves boxes...she loves sitting in them, sniffing them, sleeping in them, rubbing her face on their corners...you get the picture
Anyway- We're telling more and more people that we expect to be a licensed foster home in T minus 1.5 months. In general...it's absolutely amazing. The responses, the interest, the well wishes and the support are all wonderful. We've had a few puzzled responses but honestly, no real negative ones.
Those moments I wrote about before...the ones where I want for the next thing, well I suppose this is the next thing. Happening in real time. Telling our extended network of friends, family, and coworkers is something I'm reveling in!...now, for that really official "Facebook" announcement...
Anyway- We're telling more and more people that we expect to be a licensed foster home in T minus 1.5 months. In general...it's absolutely amazing. The responses, the interest, the well wishes and the support are all wonderful. We've had a few puzzled responses but honestly, no real negative ones.
Those moments I wrote about before...the ones where I want for the next thing, well I suppose this is the next thing. Happening in real time. Telling our extended network of friends, family, and coworkers is something I'm reveling in!...now, for that really official "Facebook" announcement...
Monday, January 17, 2011
Everyone...
...should spend a day doing nothing but consignment shopping for kids clothing with their mother! (well, I take for granted that I...unlike many...love shopping with my Mom, so you can omit the "with their mother" part of the last statement if it doesn't suit you)
It is especially great (in my opinion) when becoming a foster parent because it means you have no idea what size (other than knowing you asked for one under the age of 3) or what gender your child will be. It's means clothing shopping is 20x more fun because oh, there are so many possibilities- so, yes!, why don't I buy this cute orange dress size 18 months AND that awesome bug shirt size 6-9 months!
Basically...you have an excuse to go nuts on all the cute, consigned child clothing there is!
(I was shocked that not one cashier seemed to notice the range of items purchased and was thankful that none of them asked!)
It is especially great (in my opinion) when becoming a foster parent because it means you have no idea what size (other than knowing you asked for one under the age of 3) or what gender your child will be. It's means clothing shopping is 20x more fun because oh, there are so many possibilities- so, yes!, why don't I buy this cute orange dress size 18 months AND that awesome bug shirt size 6-9 months!
Basically...you have an excuse to go nuts on all the cute, consigned child clothing there is!
(I was shocked that not one cashier seemed to notice the range of items purchased and was thankful that none of them asked!)
A weekend of hard labor...
...not really, as you can see, the edges still need to be cut for fraying. It was a fun project, but I'll admit here that I don't want to make quilts for a living.
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Tingly feeling
So, I was just sitting here at work ...wondering what it will be like to say I've been here 10 years, to have the kind of experience, knowledge, efficiency that comes with 10 years of work... When this wave, that lit up every one of my nerve endings, came over me.
I've always wondered what it would be like to be older. Just a little bit older. Heck, I didn't just wonder- I've always WANTED to be older. I wanted the experiences that come with age, the respect that comes with experience, and the pride of being respected.
In high school, I couldn't wait to go to college. In college, I admired (and could not wait) to be the professional. When I wasn't dating, I was daydreaming about my future wedding. When I was dating, I couldn't wait to get married and have that wedding I'd dreamed of.
But, man...experiences are here and gone before you even had a chance to squeeze them of all their precious juices. And I know this, and I try to just take life as it happen, and I intentionally try not to plan for what's next- but it doesn't shut down the way I feel about being older. Just a little bit older.
I've always felt like somewhat of an "old soul" - I felt comfortable in a conversation with grown-ups when I was 6, I admired and could never learn enough about my older brother (even though he is only slightly older, when you're 13 and he's 15...his friends/life just seem so much more experienced than mine), and when it comes to hanging out I'm generally the youngest.
That wave that I felt today, was me being scared that I'll close my eyes and wake up 101 years old...being surrounded only by those younger than me, having nothing to look forward to and no one to look up to...
I guess my point is this- I want to be a foster parent right now. I want to have the experiences to share and a child to love. It's the next step, it's a marker of age, but maybe...maybe I'm missing out right now because all I'm doing is focusing on what's next. What is it, right now, that makes my life wonderful and worthy of a blog post?
I've always wondered what it would be like to be older. Just a little bit older. Heck, I didn't just wonder- I've always WANTED to be older. I wanted the experiences that come with age, the respect that comes with experience, and the pride of being respected.
In high school, I couldn't wait to go to college. In college, I admired (and could not wait) to be the professional. When I wasn't dating, I was daydreaming about my future wedding. When I was dating, I couldn't wait to get married and have that wedding I'd dreamed of.
But, man...experiences are here and gone before you even had a chance to squeeze them of all their precious juices. And I know this, and I try to just take life as it happen, and I intentionally try not to plan for what's next- but it doesn't shut down the way I feel about being older. Just a little bit older.
I've always felt like somewhat of an "old soul" - I felt comfortable in a conversation with grown-ups when I was 6, I admired and could never learn enough about my older brother (even though he is only slightly older, when you're 13 and he's 15...his friends/life just seem so much more experienced than mine), and when it comes to hanging out I'm generally the youngest.
That wave that I felt today, was me being scared that I'll close my eyes and wake up 101 years old...being surrounded only by those younger than me, having nothing to look forward to and no one to look up to...
I guess my point is this- I want to be a foster parent right now. I want to have the experiences to share and a child to love. It's the next step, it's a marker of age, but maybe...maybe I'm missing out right now because all I'm doing is focusing on what's next. What is it, right now, that makes my life wonderful and worthy of a blog post?
Monday, January 10, 2011
Not the first time we've been asked this...
Are you fostering only as a vessel for adoption? That sounds bad, like I'm asking if you don't care about the kids who won't need to be adopted. That isn't it. I guess I'm just curious if this is something you would still do if you thought it wouldn't ever end in growing your permanent family?
Haha, Joanna...this made me chuckle a little bit. Not because I don't take this seriously, but because I know how it feels to try and ask a blunt question in a nice way. I am not the type to be offended by much, so your questions doesn't sound bad to me. It's honest, it's what you want to know and that's why I asked!
To answer your question....No. We are not only fostering to adopt. It's hard to explain why we want to foster. I suppose I feel like it's a service I want to give to the community.
Here we are, two well educated, employed, social beings...in a house with 3 bedrooms, 1800+ sq ft. that we hardly need. It just feels selfish to think only of ourselves. I don't want to create a "family" that becomes so wrapped up in how we are some perfect unit, how "little Johnny (name is only for example's sake) takes after his daddy so much" (not that I don't want to influence our kids and teach them about all the things we love and why), because I want our kids to have their own identity. I want them to appreciate the beauty in other individuals, even if they don't look like us, talk like us, sound like us, or think like us. I want people to see us doing this {fostering} and feel that they can do it too. To work as a team with birth parents who never grew up with positive role models, to be a part of society in a positive way...God made us in his image...he didn't make me in his image and the crack addict living in the bad part of town in a different image...we're all made in his image. {And for those who are maybe rolling their eyes because I just brought God into it...I won't apologize}
Also, have you considered adoption through an agency? What made you decide to foster instead?
No, again...we aren't going into this only for adoption. Sure, I imagine that will be a positive ending to one of our placements...I imagine I'll wish every placement to end that way...but at the same time, I have to realize the benefit in rehabilitating a family unit, in being a temporary home for a child while their parents work through their struggles.
Will you foster more than one child at once?
Right now, the image in our head is of one child at a time. But, just for reference, in our county last year, 128 children entered foster care...there were only around 40 licensed foster homes. I don't know how, once we're licensed, we'll be able to turn away a child when they may be out of other options.
Once they place a child in your home, how much will you share on your blog? I would imagine there would be some limits to what you could reveal and/or feel comfortable with.
I think it's going to be a very situational/figure it out as we go kind of thing. There will be obvious things I won't post, but I imagine I'll want to talk about the experiences, the positives and negatives, and to just keep having fun with this.
For a less personal answer, our county does not currently have any guidelines for what can/can not be posted online/in social media outside of things like their name and birth family information, but a lot of other agencies and states do have policies that prohibit things like posting pictures of the child.
I think the reason I'm doing this {blogging} is so that people, who haven't ever considered fostering/don't know what's involved/think the world lacks people committed to simply doing something because it's the right thing/who are extremely judgmental but have no idea what the situation is, have a reference for considering foster care/can begin to see inside it/realize that the world is full of good people/and appreciate the beauty and diversity in life.
Haha, Joanna...this made me chuckle a little bit. Not because I don't take this seriously, but because I know how it feels to try and ask a blunt question in a nice way. I am not the type to be offended by much, so your questions doesn't sound bad to me. It's honest, it's what you want to know and that's why I asked!
To answer your question....No. We are not only fostering to adopt. It's hard to explain why we want to foster. I suppose I feel like it's a service I want to give to the community.
Here we are, two well educated, employed, social beings...in a house with 3 bedrooms, 1800+ sq ft. that we hardly need. It just feels selfish to think only of ourselves. I don't want to create a "family" that becomes so wrapped up in how we are some perfect unit, how "little Johnny (name is only for example's sake) takes after his daddy so much" (not that I don't want to influence our kids and teach them about all the things we love and why), because I want our kids to have their own identity. I want them to appreciate the beauty in other individuals, even if they don't look like us, talk like us, sound like us, or think like us. I want people to see us doing this {fostering} and feel that they can do it too. To work as a team with birth parents who never grew up with positive role models, to be a part of society in a positive way...God made us in his image...he didn't make me in his image and the crack addict living in the bad part of town in a different image...we're all made in his image. {And for those who are maybe rolling their eyes because I just brought God into it...I won't apologize}
Also, have you considered adoption through an agency? What made you decide to foster instead?
No, again...we aren't going into this only for adoption. Sure, I imagine that will be a positive ending to one of our placements...I imagine I'll wish every placement to end that way...but at the same time, I have to realize the benefit in rehabilitating a family unit, in being a temporary home for a child while their parents work through their struggles.
Will you foster more than one child at once?
Right now, the image in our head is of one child at a time. But, just for reference, in our county last year, 128 children entered foster care...there were only around 40 licensed foster homes. I don't know how, once we're licensed, we'll be able to turn away a child when they may be out of other options.
Once they place a child in your home, how much will you share on your blog? I would imagine there would be some limits to what you could reveal and/or feel comfortable with.
I think it's going to be a very situational/figure it out as we go kind of thing. There will be obvious things I won't post, but I imagine I'll want to talk about the experiences, the positives and negatives, and to just keep having fun with this.
For a less personal answer, our county does not currently have any guidelines for what can/can not be posted online/in social media outside of things like their name and birth family information, but a lot of other agencies and states do have policies that prohibit things like posting pictures of the child.
I think the reason I'm doing this {blogging} is so that people, who haven't ever considered fostering/don't know what's involved/think the world lacks people committed to simply doing something because it's the right thing/who are extremely judgmental but have no idea what the situation is, have a reference for considering foster care/can begin to see inside it/realize that the world is full of good people/and appreciate the beauty and diversity in life.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
What do you want to know?
Becoming licensed for Foster Care is a detailed process. Please ask me anything you have a curiosity about.
Also, how the whole thing works, from "do you get paid?" to "are you taking Family Medical Leave" has a lot of people asking questions....if you have any for me, I'd love to try to answer them!
Leave your questions in the comment section or feel free to email me, spterrell at gmail dot com.
Also, how the whole thing works, from "do you get paid?" to "are you taking Family Medical Leave" has a lot of people asking questions....if you have any for me, I'd love to try to answer them!
Leave your questions in the comment section or feel free to email me, spterrell at gmail dot com.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Welcome 2011,
It's great to meet you, I look forward to our adventures...
Seriously though- we ARE really looking forward to what this year has to bring. We anticipate a lot of new experiences...including fostering!, new projects, a vacation like Justin has never been on before, and maybe even a leap of faith career-wise.
Tomorrow, our final paperwork will be in the hands of our county licensing agent and we will be waiting on pins and needles to hear back from the state on if we have been approved for our license.
_____________________________________
I can't explain why we want to foster or why we aren't having biological kids right now. I probably won't ever be able to explain it with words to anyone outside of our marriage {outside of the family that we build.} We know in our hearts the why, but that doesn't translate into words.
We are as anxious for our first placement as many are for their first pregnancy. We're also just as scared and worried. I'm not excited that a child has to go through the experiences that will lead them into the foster care system, but I'm anxious to be the person there...on the other side of things- offering love, shelter, food, constant care and attention.
I am still working on my quilt. I don't think I ever clarified, but it's a small-ish quilt. One that I anticipate wrapping a little body in, one that I imagine will become a surface for a little body to lay or play on, and one that I hope will offer warmth and comfort for that little body as they sleep. It's amazing to be working on a project for a child that I haven't met- one that at this very moment, might be upset because of neglect or a pitiful family situation. Each square is like on small prayer for all the children who are upset, for the ones who may find themselves in our home and the ones who will find themselves in the homes of other families who are just like us...who can't explain the why, but know in their hearts that it's their responsibility to love a little body that needs love.
Seriously though- we ARE really looking forward to what this year has to bring. We anticipate a lot of new experiences...including fostering!, new projects, a vacation like Justin has never been on before, and maybe even a leap of faith career-wise.
Tomorrow, our final paperwork will be in the hands of our county licensing agent and we will be waiting on pins and needles to hear back from the state on if we have been approved for our license.
_____________________________________
I can't explain why we want to foster or why we aren't having biological kids right now. I probably won't ever be able to explain it with words to anyone outside of our marriage {outside of the family that we build.} We know in our hearts the why, but that doesn't translate into words.
We are as anxious for our first placement as many are for their first pregnancy. We're also just as scared and worried. I'm not excited that a child has to go through the experiences that will lead them into the foster care system, but I'm anxious to be the person there...on the other side of things- offering love, shelter, food, constant care and attention.
I am still working on my quilt. I don't think I ever clarified, but it's a small-ish quilt. One that I anticipate wrapping a little body in, one that I imagine will become a surface for a little body to lay or play on, and one that I hope will offer warmth and comfort for that little body as they sleep. It's amazing to be working on a project for a child that I haven't met- one that at this very moment, might be upset because of neglect or a pitiful family situation. Each square is like on small prayer for all the children who are upset, for the ones who may find themselves in our home and the ones who will find themselves in the homes of other families who are just like us...who can't explain the why, but know in their hearts that it's their responsibility to love a little body that needs love.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)