Photos from my phone

This one makes me laugh.
She calls the shots on naps and the number of socks required for such an activity.


I spy...a little curl at the end!


"Mom, look, there's a baby in that piano" (on seeing her reflection and proceeding to drool all over the polished baby grand...)


You're doing it wrong.

Mary, would you?

Tis' the season for holiday parties, christmas trees, presents, and nativity scenes. Church plays, carols, family, and cookies.

These things. They fill my heart with happiness.



The sermon at church yesterday had me in tears. Don't believe for a second that I compare myself to Mary- but it was the lesson that touched me. Ultimately, the point was- would Mary say yes if she had the chance to do it all over?

She accepted God's call despite the magnitude of burden.

"...and a sword will pierce your own soul..." Luke 2:35

Maybe I never related to this part of the story so strongly before because I wasn't a Mother. But maybe, I feel a specific tightening in my chest because of our situation. Because reality is the chance that our souls will be pierced by this little girl's reunification is 50/50. The answer to the question- would we say yes if we had the chance to do it all over? is yes. A firm, undeniable, yes.

If God is going to choose you to do something, how do you say No? It would be like...turning down your best friend when she asks you to be her maid of honor, saying no to someone who picks you for their child's Godparent, or telling your boss you decided you didn't want that new project...but worse.

Unsolicited Advice

No, you should NOT have anything painted in chalkboard paint.

Why is that such a fad right now? It never looks good after one erase and after about 30 minutes- the "cool" factor wears off. Who REALLY uses a chalkboard door in their ktichen for their calendar? Right- NO ONE. We're too busy streamlining our schedules with Google calendars and iphones apps.

I'm soooo ready to stop seeing this as a "design" decision. It doesn't enhance anything. Not your wall, not that cabinet door, and NO, not even that desk top.

Duck Duck GOOSE

Words:
Her first word was officially Hi (or Bye?) Basically, the "iiiii" sound with a lot of waving. So, she knew she what she was saying- even if it lacked the hard consonant!

She says "da da" and "ma ma"

And because of one little hand-me down rubber duckie that seems to be one of her favorite things...She's also learned to say Duck (or Quack?). It's mostly a little "u" sound with a lot of "k" sound so it really could be either one.

Growth:
Her hair is growing- can't tell if I detect a little curl at the end or not. Shade TBD, mostly light brown with blonde highlights. But it's FINALLY coming in! I see bows in our future :)

She can pull herself up, she looks for affirmation during all attempts.

Yesterday she just FELT bigger. I hate when I come home and feel like she has grown since I left in the morning. But, it's happening. She can still squeeze into a 9 month outfit but mostly we're transitioning to 12 month clothes (although some are still big).

And Finally:

Attachment. She's showing lots of signs of attachment, some jealously, and even a little attitude. I'm seriously looking forward to more of her personality coming out :) I can't wait to see what she picks up from Justin and me! (Lord, help us. Amen.)

Hello, grey area

92%

There were 46 days at the beginning of 2011 that we did not have Snarkles, although...we got the call and started preparing for her 5 days before she came, so maybe it's more like 41 days? Either way, when you divide 365 by 46...you get a small percentage. There was a very small amount of time that we weren't a family of 3. (5, should the dog and cat count?)

There were no birth announcements, not by her birth parents, not by us. There has been no permanent decision for her case plan. But, there are Christmas cards!

Oh boy, Christmas cards...where we finally get an excuse to send out pictures of little Snarkles.

Is it right? You know, for us to put pictures of her on our family Christmas card, I don't know. I do know that for 92% of this year we have been her parents. We have loved and cherished her and she is what we want to celebrate.

So, it's grey. Some people might get our card and think we're crazy for sending her picture out like she is our legal daughter. Some people might think it means we're adopting. Some people might think it means we don't have any respect for her birth parents. Whatever everyone thinks...I hope one message is clear...

That this little girl has brought us enough joy to last 100% of 100 years.

The Agonizing Unknown

We promised you our love, our trust
Our commitment
You promised us nothing
But have given us everything
You'll feel abandoned by us
Not Social Services, not our State
We bear this burden and we hurt because
It's not true
We won't get the chance to explain it
But, we're living up to our promise