Our Morning

It's amazing how difficult it is to carry a laptop bag, lunch box, coffee mug, keys, a 2 year old out to the car, get the door to the house shut and locked, and keep the dog from knocking over the 2 year old or running into the house...so I've streamlined my routine and I'm loving having a routine...for everyone else, cheers to you for being more go-with-the-flow but this gets us out the door at almost the exact same time (within a 5 minute frame) every day!

I wake up a sleeping child around 7:10, after i've gotten completely ready for work and have taken my stuff out to and started the car to defrost/warm it up for the two of us.

She usually stretches her little body out in the crib while rolling over a few times. If not that, then she curls her little hands under her belly and scrunches down to try to snuggle the last few seconds out of her bed.

I lay her on her changing pad, head to my left and her feet to my right, smile big at her, and then she usually asks some clarifying questions or makes statements. "Daddy at work" "Anna's socks right there." "Anna juice?" She's a morning girl, like her Mommy.

I change her diaper and clothes, sometimes she wants to do it herself now. Except, she still can't quite seem to get her socks on or her shirt over her head. Some days she doesn't like the shoes I've chosen and I use a distraction method to get them on her or I'll compromise and let her wear the ones she wants.

We walk downstairs, and on the way she flips all the light switches for me. I'm holding her of course. "Mommy hold you" This is a morning requirement. NEVER SET THE GIRL DOWN. It leads to crying and overall distress for everyone involved. Holding is non-negotionable.

We get into the car and she points out things in the shops windows as we drive through our small sleepy town, or sings, or runs through all the names of her friends from school.

We get to the daycare and I get her out of her carseat and she immediately asks for "Mommy's breakfast" Nutri-grain bars are her favorite only because one morning she threw such a fit about her cereal that I caved and asked her if she wanted "Mommy's breakfast" and of course she did and ever since then, that's what she asks for...she's generally ok if this breakfast happens to be something else...like a bagel with cream cheese, but whatever it is, I have to refer to it as "Mommy's breakfast"

We walk in and smile and say hello to everyone. I set her at the breakfast table with the others. Recently I started asking her who she wants to sit beside...her answer is always the same..."Lucas"

I hate saying goodbye. It's such a short period of time that I have with her in the morning and I crave more. But, instead of dwelling on the lack of time, I hug her extra tight, kiss her all over, and talk to her constantly throughout our morning routine...sometimes I don't mind if we're at the latter end of our 5 minute flex time...

Happy Birthday, 2 year old!

About me:
I used to think that Mom's should get to celebrate on "birthdays" in honor of all the endurance they had been through to get to that day. Except, now...that theory is kind of irrelevant to my situation...and I don't know what to think.

I still feel that way for my own mom - I mean, what did I do to deserve presents and thoughtful wishes on July 2nd?

In some way, I think I feel that way for Snarkle's biological mom. Does she realize what day today is? I'll probably think about her over the course of Snarkles life. Maybe on this day, maybe not, but probably.

I used to think that birthday's were technically a count-down, even though the numbers are going up.
We age and get old
Miss opportunities that we look back on and wish we had taken
Experience things too fast
Constantly move towards a still target

That was, until a friend gave me a card that read "365 days better than last year" and my perspective has changed.

I used to focus on what was gone, instead of thinking about what has been gained. This monumental shift in my mindset is integral to my life with a child.

Today is not about marking the time, it's about being happy for everything that's happened since "Anna" turned one, everything that makes her who she is...
Her Baptism
Godparents
Adoption
Grandparents/Aunts-n-Uncles
School teachers
She sings
Does "yoga"
Colors
Loves her family, school friends, and neighbors
Uses the potty occassionaly
Runs
Puts multiple words together
Talks all the time
Counts to 10 with some success
Says her alphabet, but only A-G
Wants to be outside all the time
Is still petite, but in size 24 month clothes
Only interested in Elmo videos from you tube
A great sleeper
Happy to go to school every morning
A healthy eater
Independant
Confident and outgoing but shy with strangers and in new crowds
Silly, so silly
A Mommy's girl

...she is all of that because of the past 365 days.

I loved her at 1.

I love her even more at 2.

Forever

I'm not 100% sure why I stopped writing on here. Just shy of a year ago. I believe it's because at some point fostering stopped feeling - the way I had imagined it would feel. I imagined something that would tear at my heart and challenge me. I imagined it as life filled with despair, sadness, anger, frustration, and confusion. What it became, what it always was, is everything else. Hope, love, support, dedication, and joy. This blog did not do justice to life as foster parents. Looking back now, I wish I had not stopped sharing. I should have kept writing. Foster care deserves to have more people share more of the good stuff. The world needs more of that anyway - the good stuff. I owe a million thanks to so many people for supporting and encouraging our fostering journey to this point. I feel humbled by the love and embarrassed that I will never be able to repay anyone in an equal or adequate way. This journey isn't over. I think we're going to take some time to find our identity as a family of 3 but, we're renewing our license. Happy New Year!