I've been selfish with this process.
Not wanting to share, wanting to hog this experience ever since Snarkles came into our lives.
Snarkles is doing well and growing like a weed- I'm happy to report she's out of premie clothes! Well, I say happy, because it means she's thriving, but honestly, it was sad to pack away the little onsies that she will never fit into again.
Unbelievable. Do you hear me?! I'm such a MOM now.
Anyway, the process has been really positive so far. Monday's are typically the most emotional. Snarkles get's picked up at our house by her foster care case worker and taken to visit with her birth parents. It's emotional because these days are the only day I really hear about what's been happening on the case or when I get a chance to ask the random, curious, questions.
So of course I draw my own conclusions or make irrational assumptions while all the possibilities run through my head.
It's hard to foster a newborn, to pour all your energy into this little bundle of warmth and beauty, and not know nearly as much as you would want to know. Are they pursuing a kinship placement? If the case moves to a different county will the child be able to remain in our care? Are the birth parents working their plan? What IS their plan?....you get the point.
We have not begun what they call "shared parenting" where we interact with the birth parents. However, I was sure to send pictures to the first visit and a note to the second.
It's tough, but we have the most amazing support system. I was touched to receive a gift from a lady that I don't know, but who my Mom has been bragging about us to. That's what makes this process amazing. It brings so many people together, gives people a positive feeling about the world. Not that we think we're doing anything great, but while I was driving home today I realized- I so often try to down play what it is we are doing...when really, this IS amazing. It's amazing to not just send a note with Snarkles to her visit.....
...but to get one back.
Monday, February 28, 2011
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Internet Nickname: Snarkles
Because we are not publishing her name we will use an internet nickname...she has been given the name Snarkles thanks to her snarkly sounding breathing. Poor little girl came to us with congestion, she's getting past it...thanks to the snot bulb sucker and our awesome humidifier!
Snarkles Guardian Ad Litem (GAL) is coming today for her first visit. Each child in foster care gets a GAL who is the child's advocate in court. She will speak on behalf of Snarkles for what's best for her, where she seems happy, etc. If Snarkles was able to talk she'd take her into a room alone and ask how she likes living with her foster parents, what she does daily etc. The GAL said a lot of times this is when the children might say that they miss their mommies/daddies.
Anyway, she's coming his afternoon and I think she'll be very happy with Snarkles arrangement here!
Snarkles Guardian Ad Litem (GAL) is coming today for her first visit. Each child in foster care gets a GAL who is the child's advocate in court. She will speak on behalf of Snarkles for what's best for her, where she seems happy, etc. If Snarkles was able to talk she'd take her into a room alone and ask how she likes living with her foster parents, what she does daily etc. The GAL said a lot of times this is when the children might say that they miss their mommies/daddies.
Anyway, she's coming his afternoon and I think she'll be very happy with Snarkles arrangement here!
Thursday, February 17, 2011
You'd think we know what we're doing!
Here she is loaded and ready for her first ped appt. she slept the whole ride there and back.
Burrito baby, not sure this is right, but she seems to sleep good this way!
"Oh, goooooodnesss" her favorite part of a diaper change is this, the holding at the end.
All wrapped in a ducky towel after a bath. She smelled like heaven.
And my personal favorite picture in this whole post...
You can't tell necessary from these pictures, but she's adorable. No really, I CAN be biased on this and I still think she's so freaking cute.
Burrito baby, not sure this is right, but she seems to sleep good this way!
"Oh, goooooodnesss" her favorite part of a diaper change is this, the holding at the end.
All wrapped in a ducky towel after a bath. She smelled like heaven.
And my personal favorite picture in this whole post...
You can't tell necessary from these pictures, but she's adorable. No really, I CAN be biased on this and I still think she's so freaking cute.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
The case so far:
There's an "investigator" {social services job title for someone within the agency} on the baby's case. It seems that this lady's role is to address the initial charges against the parents and the well being of the child.
Yesterday a foster care case worker was added to the case. It seems to me that her role is to now take over the care of the child in foster care. She mentioned that she could take the baby to her doctor appointments which prompted me to ask if I wasn't supposed to do that...because I assumed I would be doing all the things a parent of a child would do...and she said we can do it either way. She said there are some foster parents who don't want to do anything and those who feel comfortable doing it all and want to.
Anyway, so the investigator wasn't at work yesterday and so I suppose this is why the baby wasn't released from the hospital.
There is a noon court appointment today, with the birth parents, where they will meet their attorneys, meet with social services staff, and review the process. At this time they can identify a relative that they want the baby to be placed with. {this is where I want to SCREAM, if I just did all this work over the weekend to get ready for a newborn baby girl, and DON'T get the placement, i'm going to be upset!} so anyway...after this appointment both the investigator {I} and foster care case worker {FCCW} will go pick the baby up from the hospital. The baby may then have a visit with the birth parents this afternoon before coming to our house.
Yesterday a foster care case worker was added to the case. It seems to me that her role is to now take over the care of the child in foster care. She mentioned that she could take the baby to her doctor appointments which prompted me to ask if I wasn't supposed to do that...because I assumed I would be doing all the things a parent of a child would do...and she said we can do it either way. She said there are some foster parents who don't want to do anything and those who feel comfortable doing it all and want to.
Anyway, so the investigator wasn't at work yesterday and so I suppose this is why the baby wasn't released from the hospital.
There is a noon court appointment today, with the birth parents, where they will meet their attorneys, meet with social services staff, and review the process. At this time they can identify a relative that they want the baby to be placed with. {this is where I want to SCREAM, if I just did all this work over the weekend to get ready for a newborn baby girl, and DON'T get the placement, i'm going to be upset!} so anyway...after this appointment both the investigator {I} and foster care case worker {FCCW} will go pick the baby up from the hospital. The baby may then have a visit with the birth parents this afternoon before coming to our house.
Sunday, February 13, 2011
This is only a foster placement
At this point in time we know nothing about the future of the placement.
Will the mom work her plan? Does she want the baby back? Is she still doing drugs or is she in rehab? Will the parental rights eventually be terminated?
Many have asked and, yes, we will CONSIDER adoption. But right now, this is a foster care placement.
Sure, I'd love to end up adopting this child if her situation leads to that and, yes, I'll be devastated to say goodbye to the child if her situation leads to reunification...but right now, we don't know. We signed up for this and know that we're here to give this child a stable home, full of love and care. I plan to do that for as long as she is with us.
I'm not going to speculate on the future of her placement because no one knows at this point. It's not worth getting excited or upset about. Right now, we need to be focused on the health, safety, and well being of a newborn baby. We'll take this one day at a time.
No more, no less.
Will the mom work her plan? Does she want the baby back? Is she still doing drugs or is she in rehab? Will the parental rights eventually be terminated?
Many have asked and, yes, we will CONSIDER adoption. But right now, this is a foster care placement.
Sure, I'd love to end up adopting this child if her situation leads to that and, yes, I'll be devastated to say goodbye to the child if her situation leads to reunification...but right now, we don't know. We signed up for this and know that we're here to give this child a stable home, full of love and care. I plan to do that for as long as she is with us.
I'm not going to speculate on the future of her placement because no one knows at this point. It's not worth getting excited or upset about. Right now, we need to be focused on the health, safety, and well being of a newborn baby. We'll take this one day at a time.
No more, no less.
It's already Sunday night?
Because it feels like only an hour ago that I posted about getting our first placement call {it was 3 days ago}
Thanks to some absolutely-wonderful-coworkers, church family, and "grand"parents I am SO READY. Without their help and support I know my bank account would have been drained and my sanity gone!
Thanks to them there is a dresser full of clothes, a crib set up, a mattress in the cradle and most important, a car seat for the ride home.
Honestly, the best thing about all of this...is that I didn't have to CHOOSE what to buy or put on a registry. Really, I don't know how someone keeps their whits about them when they have go through that?! There is just so much...these bottles? or those? this car seat? or that one? pattern? coordination? what are the best products? what's NOT necessary? oh, and did you know that the pacifier must coordinate with the type of nipple on the bottle...BECAUSE I DIDN'T...
So, needless to say, I am able to take some time to type this out all because we've got an amazing support system. It's the ONLY reason I think we felt comfortable with a placement that has the potential to become challenging.
Thanks to some absolutely-wonderful-coworkers, church family, and "grand"parents I am SO READY. Without their help and support I know my bank account would have been drained and my sanity gone!
Thanks to them there is a dresser full of clothes, a crib set up, a mattress in the cradle and most important, a car seat for the ride home.
Honestly, the best thing about all of this...is that I didn't have to CHOOSE what to buy or put on a registry. Really, I don't know how someone keeps their whits about them when they have go through that?! There is just so much...these bottles? or those? this car seat? or that one? pattern? coordination? what are the best products? what's NOT necessary? oh, and did you know that the pacifier must coordinate with the type of nipple on the bottle...BECAUSE I DIDN'T...
So, needless to say, I am able to take some time to type this out all because we've got an amazing support system. It's the ONLY reason I think we felt comfortable with a placement that has the potential to become challenging.
Friday, February 11, 2011
We're saying YES!
So, we said yes...and I was told "ok, good...well, when the baby gets released we'll give you a call"
REALLY...are you kidding, that's it?! this is such a weird process...
So I guess, I'm planning on picking a baby girl up on Monday or Tuesday next week.
Oh, and OF COURSE I forgot to ask how the birth mother feels about everything (is she mad her baby didn't go home with her? does she want the baby back? do they think she'll work the plan???)...man, I'm really curious! I'm kicking myself for forgetting to ask, it was the one question I wanted to remember and then it felt like the placement worker was trying to get me off the phone and I was too concerned with asking her to get a referral for a developmental and behavioral pediatrician from the current doctor...I guess the baby's well being is more important than the mom's feelings at this point!
Thanks for all your support!
REALLY...are you kidding, that's it?! this is such a weird process...
So I guess, I'm planning on picking a baby girl up on Monday or Tuesday next week.
Oh, and OF COURSE I forgot to ask how the birth mother feels about everything (is she mad her baby didn't go home with her? does she want the baby back? do they think she'll work the plan???)...man, I'm really curious! I'm kicking myself for forgetting to ask, it was the one question I wanted to remember and then it felt like the placement worker was trying to get me off the phone and I was too concerned with asking her to get a referral for a developmental and behavioral pediatrician from the current doctor...I guess the baby's well being is more important than the mom's feelings at this point!
Thanks for all your support!
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Please wait, while I freak out...
...I never thought we'd get a placement before our license. Secretly, I was hoping...but I never expected it.
Now, we're being asked to BRING IT.
newborn
no prenatal care
baby + for drugs
7lb baby girl
can't be in daycare until 6wks of age
possibly discharged from hospital this weekend, likely discharge day on monday or tuesday though
husband is nervous
in shock, planning for shock when we go from 0-baby in 3 days
haven't said yes, yet
Now, we're being asked to BRING IT.
newborn
no prenatal care
baby + for drugs
7lb baby girl
can't be in daycare until 6wks of age
possibly discharged from hospital this weekend, likely discharge day on monday or tuesday though
husband is nervous
in shock, planning for shock when we go from 0-baby in 3 days
haven't said yes, yet
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Thoughts on last post...
...it doesn't seem so strange when people live in a rural area in Switzerland, or Iceland, or Australia...in fact, most people are quite intrigued by that.
More than that...
The title of this blog was originally more than just a reference to fostering. It was a reference to our life.
Justin and I seem to have a distinct love for living in a small, rural town {well, semi-rural maybe, we have sidewalks so I'm not really sure how to classify it exactly}
Anyway, I do love it- there are 2 river accesses less than 1 mile from our front door, which means spring, summer, and fall kayaking at our will. The side roads are good for road biking {as long as your leg muscles are built up enough to handle the hills!} and the vistas are pretty spectacular, I've always loved living amongst mountains.
It was/is hard to make the decision, the commitment, to living in such a small town when we don't have to. We have the option to live in either of the two mid-sized cities we live near. But we don't. I can't explain why not exactly. I know many people who say they never could. But, truthfully, anyone can do this and could find how awakening it is. It's annoying to constantly have people react with confusion and ignorance {strong word, I apologize, but there is really no other way to say it} about my choice to live here.
The people we live near and have gotten to know in this particular small town, are wonderful, intelligent, interesting people. They are fun to hang out with and thoughtful on all occasions. Sure, people who fit this description and live in large cities, but what you might not understand...unless you live in a small town...is how different they still are.
I will never regret going through our MAPP classes with people who fit the description above and I am so excited because the first couple from our class got a letter the day before yesterday that they are licensed! I'm so excited for them and can't wait to hear more as their journey continues.
Justin and I seem to have a distinct love for living in a small, rural town {well, semi-rural maybe, we have sidewalks so I'm not really sure how to classify it exactly}
Anyway, I do love it- there are 2 river accesses less than 1 mile from our front door, which means spring, summer, and fall kayaking at our will. The side roads are good for road biking {as long as your leg muscles are built up enough to handle the hills!} and the vistas are pretty spectacular, I've always loved living amongst mountains.
It was/is hard to make the decision, the commitment, to living in such a small town when we don't have to. We have the option to live in either of the two mid-sized cities we live near. But we don't. I can't explain why not exactly. I know many people who say they never could. But, truthfully, anyone can do this and could find how awakening it is. It's annoying to constantly have people react with confusion and ignorance {strong word, I apologize, but there is really no other way to say it} about my choice to live here.
The people we live near and have gotten to know in this particular small town, are wonderful, intelligent, interesting people. They are fun to hang out with and thoughtful on all occasions. Sure, people who fit this description and live in large cities, but what you might not understand...unless you live in a small town...is how different they still are.
I will never regret going through our MAPP classes with people who fit the description above and I am so excited because the first couple from our class got a letter the day before yesterday that they are licensed! I'm so excited for them and can't wait to hear more as their journey continues.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Gearing Up!
I've been having a blast shopping consignment stores for baby/toddler clothes. The range of stuff in stores honestly has proven to be anywhere from brand new to soiled looking. I've found some great things that I am DYING to see a little one in and some things that i've simply thought...I don't love it but for $1.75, that's worth it.
Oh, you thought I was kidding when I said I went nuts?! Honestly though, this isn't even half of what i'll need...
...let's say I get a 9 month old boy, ok...he'll fit into some of the onsies I have, but I don't have enough for even one week worth! Now, let's say he's growing quick and I've had him for 3 months, he needs size 12-18 months...i'm in trouble.
Oh, you thought I was kidding when I said I went nuts?! Honestly though, this isn't even half of what i'll need...
...let's say I get a 9 month old boy, ok...he'll fit into some of the onsies I have, but I don't have enough for even one week worth! Now, let's say he's growing quick and I've had him for 3 months, he needs size 12-18 months...i'm in trouble.
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