Thursday, March 17, 2011
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
The roller-coaster
Many people refer to different experiences, trials, or even life in general, as a roller-coaster.
Fostering is an emotional roller-coaster for sure.
Today, I'd like to get off the roller-coaster we're riding...
But, there's another part to that analogy...I'd like to get off the roller-coaster we're on, but I don't want to leave the amusement park.
This is the most amazing amusement park in the world.
If you haven't been here, I'd totally recommend it. (even if sometimes the rides are crappy!)
Fostering is an emotional roller-coaster for sure.
Today, I'd like to get off the roller-coaster we're riding...
But, there's another part to that analogy...I'd like to get off the roller-coaster we're on, but I don't want to leave the amusement park.
This is the most amazing amusement park in the world.
If you haven't been here, I'd totally recommend it. (even if sometimes the rides are crappy!)
Monday, March 14, 2011
Deserving?
Someone said that Snarkles parents don't "deserve" her.
I'm sorry but, no matter what we do in life, do any of us "deserve" children?
I hope not.
What I mean is this- I hope, being blessed with children is never a matter of "you deserved them" and rather a matter of "you can love them." To be deserving is such a judgement. None of us, on earth, have the right to make such a self-righteous statement. So, no...you will not hear my say that the birth parents don't deserve Snarkles. They certainly can't provide for Snarkles; They can not provide the nurture, the education, the stability, or the love and attention that we can. At least not right now, but honestly, I trust that they could LOVE Snarkles. I hope that somewhere, deep down in their bodies, they love her. Sure their actions don't necessarily say that...but they're not focused on taking care of a child, their focused on themselves. Their "needs" right now are nothing that a baby should be caught up in. So, no, Snarkles should not be with them, but that doesn't mean they don't deserve her.
I've had to dig deep inside myself to really accept that Snarkles could be reunified and to understand how that will ever be ok. We will most likely always be able to provide for Snarkles in ways her birth parents never will. Why couldn't she stay with us for that matter alone?
She would, if it was a matter of deserving.
But even more than that, if it is a matter of deserving, it's hard for me to understand how we deserve Snarkles. Man, to think so would be so self-righteous that I wouldn't be able to stand being in the room with myself. You know those types of people. The Self-Righteous.
Anyway, I can't allow myself to judge Snarkles parents. It's not my place and it won't help me accept reunification, if it happens. All I want to do is trust that Snarkles will always be loved and taken good care of.
I'm sorry but, no matter what we do in life, do any of us "deserve" children?
I hope not.
What I mean is this- I hope, being blessed with children is never a matter of "you deserved them" and rather a matter of "you can love them." To be deserving is such a judgement. None of us, on earth, have the right to make such a self-righteous statement. So, no...you will not hear my say that the birth parents don't deserve Snarkles. They certainly can't provide for Snarkles; They can not provide the nurture, the education, the stability, or the love and attention that we can. At least not right now, but honestly, I trust that they could LOVE Snarkles. I hope that somewhere, deep down in their bodies, they love her. Sure their actions don't necessarily say that...but they're not focused on taking care of a child, their focused on themselves. Their "needs" right now are nothing that a baby should be caught up in. So, no, Snarkles should not be with them, but that doesn't mean they don't deserve her.
I've had to dig deep inside myself to really accept that Snarkles could be reunified and to understand how that will ever be ok. We will most likely always be able to provide for Snarkles in ways her birth parents never will. Why couldn't she stay with us for that matter alone?
She would, if it was a matter of deserving.
But even more than that, if it is a matter of deserving, it's hard for me to understand how we deserve Snarkles. Man, to think so would be so self-righteous that I wouldn't be able to stand being in the room with myself. You know those types of people. The Self-Righteous.
Anyway, I can't allow myself to judge Snarkles parents. It's not my place and it won't help me accept reunification, if it happens. All I want to do is trust that Snarkles will always be loved and taken good care of.
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