Yes, yes...the VERY best present was Jesus sacrifice for us on the cross. But, the best this year...Snarkles SMILED.
Real,
Responsive,
Beautiful,
Smiles.
4 in a row to be exact, the 4th caught on tape- too bad I can't share that here....
How amazing it is that all day she was just her normal baby self and then all of a sudden, around 8pm while hanging out in my lap on the couch beside "Dad"...she decided she wanted to smile at us?!
AMAZING BEYOND WORDS.
I've never experienced that before and if this is the only time I do, well...thank you Snarkles for giving me that moment!
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Props to Dad
I just finished listening to the consultation appointment that Snarkles had with a specialist about her belly button!
You're thinking, what do I mean?...Welllll, Justin knew I felt guilty about not going to this appointment about what we thought was a consultation for surgery on her umbilical (because it just seemed silly to take a whole day off from work when he is more than capable to care for her during a simple consultation and he already had the day off) so he voice recorded the entire appointment.
He also had the doctor draw a picture.
(Does that image scare anyone else?!)
It's like I was there! All those worries about him not communicating the information correctly (ladies, you know what I mean)...GONE. Thanks modern, accessible technology!
You're thinking, what do I mean?...Welllll, Justin knew I felt guilty about not going to this appointment about what we thought was a consultation for surgery on her umbilical (because it just seemed silly to take a whole day off from work when he is more than capable to care for her during a simple consultation and he already had the day off) so he voice recorded the entire appointment.
He also had the doctor draw a picture.
(Does that image scare anyone else?!)
It's like I was there! All those worries about him not communicating the information correctly (ladies, you know what I mean)...GONE. Thanks modern, accessible technology!
New Pediatrician!
To be honest what made me recently switch who Snarkles is seeing was 5% doctor/patient interaction and 95% the office environment!
No space should be so unwelcoming from the entrance, so overwhelming with colors, patterns, and things, or have little to no natural light and fresh air as that pediatric office we went to for the first two months.
I'm going to preach this, because it's what I do for a living.
The built environment, the spaces you spend your time in, should make you happy and inspired. They should meet some very basic criteria:
1. Natural light, daylight.
2. Fresh Air.
3. Spacious (different than wasteful space).
4. Clean
5. Energizing*
6. Modern and updated*
Allow me to elaborate...
Natural light is PROVEN to increase the health in patients and not only that but it's proven to increase positive moods and productivity. It also increases the perceived size of the room/space. For me, natural light is at the essence of good design.
Fresh air has become monitored in buildings after more than a decade ago there was the "Sick Building Syndrome" where staff and occupants within buildings that were not adequately ventilated became seriously ill. We all know mold is dangerous to our health and lack of proper air movement passes disease and sickness, so within a health care facility, of all places, having fresh moving air is so immensely important.
I say spacious but not wasted space because the way we use our space can make it 1,000 times more efficient for us or 1,000 more troublesome to manage. In our previous pediatric office, space was at a high premium. If there was any, it was likely taken up by a giant chunk of toy and all wall space was littered with flyers and notes. OH MAN, just thinking back makes my anxiety level rise a little! The hallways were narrow, the patient rooms were ITTY BITTY with only one adult seat and one toddler chair (um, hello, dad AND mom would like to sit down). I need to stop or these thoughts will have me shaking in a second. Our new office, is a total 180 degrees away from that place I just described!
Clean, well...I shouldn't have to elaborate on clean except to say that clean goes beyond bleach and hand sanitizer. Clean is also a feeling, a perception, of the space.
All good design should be energizing. It should feel inspiring and uplifting. The opposite of this is closed in, cluttered, and overwhelming. If your space makes you feel any of those three...CHANGE IT IMMEDIATELY. It's not just about the wall color or art work, although those are important aspects to energizing, but it's about movement around the space, the flow of objects, and the location of doors and furniture. Let's just say...I felt beat down just by entering our last pediatric office. The new one...sang choruses of Hallelujah as soon as I walked in!
And last, BUT certainly not least...modern and updated. Keeping up with technology not only shows that the office is proactive, it shows that they are willing to learn new stuff. I equate this to how they will treat my child as a patient. Having a "modern" space simply expresses my personal design style and like I said...if you don't like the space you're in, CHANGE IT. so I did, I went from 1986 geometric patterned floor carpet with confetti accents and a thousand toys space to a 2010 dark "wood" floored, bench seats and simple large graphic art (bring your own toy, toddler)space.
The difference (in all of the above) meant that this Mom didn't pass out and ENJOYED taking her child to get the best health care of her little bitty life.
*Optional, but my preference!
No space should be so unwelcoming from the entrance, so overwhelming with colors, patterns, and things, or have little to no natural light and fresh air as that pediatric office we went to for the first two months.
I'm going to preach this, because it's what I do for a living.
The built environment, the spaces you spend your time in, should make you happy and inspired. They should meet some very basic criteria:
1. Natural light, daylight.
2. Fresh Air.
3. Spacious (different than wasteful space).
4. Clean
5. Energizing*
6. Modern and updated*
Allow me to elaborate...
Natural light is PROVEN to increase the health in patients and not only that but it's proven to increase positive moods and productivity. It also increases the perceived size of the room/space. For me, natural light is at the essence of good design.
Fresh air has become monitored in buildings after more than a decade ago there was the "Sick Building Syndrome" where staff and occupants within buildings that were not adequately ventilated became seriously ill. We all know mold is dangerous to our health and lack of proper air movement passes disease and sickness, so within a health care facility, of all places, having fresh moving air is so immensely important.
I say spacious but not wasted space because the way we use our space can make it 1,000 times more efficient for us or 1,000 more troublesome to manage. In our previous pediatric office, space was at a high premium. If there was any, it was likely taken up by a giant chunk of toy and all wall space was littered with flyers and notes. OH MAN, just thinking back makes my anxiety level rise a little! The hallways were narrow, the patient rooms were ITTY BITTY with only one adult seat and one toddler chair (um, hello, dad AND mom would like to sit down). I need to stop or these thoughts will have me shaking in a second. Our new office, is a total 180 degrees away from that place I just described!
Clean, well...I shouldn't have to elaborate on clean except to say that clean goes beyond bleach and hand sanitizer. Clean is also a feeling, a perception, of the space.
All good design should be energizing. It should feel inspiring and uplifting. The opposite of this is closed in, cluttered, and overwhelming. If your space makes you feel any of those three...CHANGE IT IMMEDIATELY. It's not just about the wall color or art work, although those are important aspects to energizing, but it's about movement around the space, the flow of objects, and the location of doors and furniture. Let's just say...I felt beat down just by entering our last pediatric office. The new one...sang choruses of Hallelujah as soon as I walked in!
And last, BUT certainly not least...modern and updated. Keeping up with technology not only shows that the office is proactive, it shows that they are willing to learn new stuff. I equate this to how they will treat my child as a patient. Having a "modern" space simply expresses my personal design style and like I said...if you don't like the space you're in, CHANGE IT. so I did, I went from 1986 geometric patterned floor carpet with confetti accents and a thousand toys space to a 2010 dark "wood" floored, bench seats and simple large graphic art (bring your own toy, toddler)space.
The difference (in all of the above) meant that this Mom didn't pass out and ENJOYED taking her child to get the best health care of her little bitty life.
*Optional, but my preference!
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Snarkles Bedroom Reveal!
You guys have been so patient through this all...I know, I should have had these photos up two months ago, but exactly two months and 10 days ago the room still looked like this...
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Thursday, April 14, 2011
How is Snarkles?!
I've neglected to write about her, specifically...I've focused on my feelings about things, our experiences, and the technicalities of fostering. So, if you are curious...
A typical day for Snarkles:
2:00am: wake up for feeding
6:45am: she begins waking and getting restless
7:30am: at daycare, usually fell back asleep in the car
-Daycare-
4:00pm: Justin picks her up
4:30pm: her screaming either means she's hungry, or...has to poop
6:00pm: I get home and find Snarkles sleeping tummy down on Justin's chest, he's "resting his eyes" too
6:01pm: I'm holding Snarkles
8:00pm: Hungry Snarkles, sometimes she sleeps after this, sometimes she's wide awake
10:00-10:30pm: Hungry Snarkles, not as hungry as she thinks she is...usually falls asleep within 1oz. we try to get her to eat a little more, we can usually make it through 1 more oz. before she is sound asleep
She is eating almost 2oz. more per feeding though than she was, 4 solid ounces each time! Which leads to...she has practically doubled in size! (Where did my newborn go?!) She is awfully content, loves to look at herself in the mirror, loves to be held, and the best...she's smiling now!
A typical day for Snarkles:
2:00am: wake up for feeding
6:45am: she begins waking and getting restless
7:30am: at daycare, usually fell back asleep in the car
-Daycare-
4:00pm: Justin picks her up
4:30pm: her screaming either means she's hungry, or...has to poop
6:00pm: I get home and find Snarkles sleeping tummy down on Justin's chest, he's "resting his eyes" too
6:01pm: I'm holding Snarkles
8:00pm: Hungry Snarkles, sometimes she sleeps after this, sometimes she's wide awake
10:00-10:30pm: Hungry Snarkles, not as hungry as she thinks she is...usually falls asleep within 1oz. we try to get her to eat a little more, we can usually make it through 1 more oz. before she is sound asleep
She is eating almost 2oz. more per feeding though than she was, 4 solid ounces each time! Which leads to...she has practically doubled in size! (Where did my newborn go?!) She is awfully content, loves to look at herself in the mirror, loves to be held, and the best...she's smiling now!
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
It's fair to say...
...that before Snarkles I was indifferent to pregnant ladies, babies, and cute Mom's. I wasn't all "ooo and awe" over them.
Now, every time I see a pregnant lady I think about how excited having that baby in her life is going to be. I think about all the joy Snarkles has brought us.
When I see a mother with her child, in photographs or person, I just get this incredible sensation. I see something that I didn't see before because now I know what that love between them looks like and I not only see it, I feel it.
I also have this huge sense of guilt for loving this child so hard. Knowing there's another woman out there who should, in all rights, love this child as hard as any mother. She doesn't have the opportunity.
Even though her own choices led to this situation, it has to be hard when she sees those pregnant ladies, babies, and cute Mom's. Does she miss Snarkles every time she sees another baby girl about the same age? Does it bother her to know another woman is loving her child, holding her, and developing a deep bond with her?!
Managing this feel has got to be the hardest part of fostering. Has to be.
Now, every time I see a pregnant lady I think about how excited having that baby in her life is going to be. I think about all the joy Snarkles has brought us.
When I see a mother with her child, in photographs or person, I just get this incredible sensation. I see something that I didn't see before because now I know what that love between them looks like and I not only see it, I feel it.
I also have this huge sense of guilt for loving this child so hard. Knowing there's another woman out there who should, in all rights, love this child as hard as any mother. She doesn't have the opportunity.
Even though her own choices led to this situation, it has to be hard when she sees those pregnant ladies, babies, and cute Mom's. Does she miss Snarkles every time she sees another baby girl about the same age? Does it bother her to know another woman is loving her child, holding her, and developing a deep bond with her?!
Managing this feel has got to be the hardest part of fostering. Has to be.
Monday, April 11, 2011
I WANT to be Mom.
We have received a countless number of offers from people who want to watch baby Snarkles for a night. To "keep her while you guys go out on a date."
People are practically begging for her, she's just that cute and sweet.
But, it's getting annoying that I have to keep smiling and saying "thank you" "we will" "we know, we'll call if we need anything." Because, in fact, we are doing GREAT with baby Snarkles and we WANT to give up our time for her.
We never actually "went on dates" before she came, I don't know why we would start now. We don't know how long we will have Snarkles, I plan to spend every second of time with her that I can get. We don't see her all day long, why would I not want to see her at night or on the weekends. The mere 30+/- hours that we have with an awake baby during the week are simply not enough to quench our thirst to love her.
These are just a few of the reasons that I wish people would quit offering to keep her over and over. We should be grateful, but instead I feel like a jerk because I never do call, I never do need them to come watch her so that Justin and I can be alone.
We like taking her with us wherever we go. Experiencing life with her is so special that I just can't seem to "give it up." So, I'm sorry I haven't called. I'm not being rude, I just don't need a night out.
People are practically begging for her, she's just that cute and sweet.
But, it's getting annoying that I have to keep smiling and saying "thank you" "we will" "we know, we'll call if we need anything." Because, in fact, we are doing GREAT with baby Snarkles and we WANT to give up our time for her.
We never actually "went on dates" before she came, I don't know why we would start now. We don't know how long we will have Snarkles, I plan to spend every second of time with her that I can get. We don't see her all day long, why would I not want to see her at night or on the weekends. The mere 30+/- hours that we have with an awake baby during the week are simply not enough to quench our thirst to love her.
These are just a few of the reasons that I wish people would quit offering to keep her over and over. We should be grateful, but instead I feel like a jerk because I never do call, I never do need them to come watch her so that Justin and I can be alone.
We like taking her with us wherever we go. Experiencing life with her is so special that I just can't seem to "give it up." So, I'm sorry I haven't called. I'm not being rude, I just don't need a night out.
Friday, April 8, 2011
A photo for the faithful readers!
Oh, you wanted a REAL photo?! Trust me, I would LOVE to show you a true picture of this beautiful little girl. There isn't much but she can certainly thank her birth parents for one thing...
Thursday, April 7, 2011
My Dear Neglected Blog,
It's nice that you're still around, for the times when I actually spend a second to post. I don't know what happens in the meantime...do people check to see if I've written? are people curious about our experience in fostering? am I on anyone's google reader?
So, I don't know what has happened that I haven't posted lately, I've just...been lazy.
We are now 2 months into the experience...and every week seems to be a little different. Sometimes, things are drastically different day to day depending on the information we receive.
But, in the last week and a half we haven't heard a word about the case nor had a visitation to attend.
It's been glorious, our little "family" has gone about life as if there isn't this crazy caveat to the whole thing.
Today, we have an in home appointment with someone regarding Snarkles entrance into a program through the Health Department. My vague understanding is that they speak about the general health and milestones of the child and offer routine or emergency visits should there be any questions we have regarding Snarkles health.
She was eligible for the program thanks to the situations that brought her into care. I will admit that we could've followed up with this program sooner but honestly I did not quite understand it's usefulness to us. We have a pediatrician, wouldn't we simply use their expertise to answer our questions?
...I'm not convinced that WE need this service, but...it's not about us, it's about Snarkles and so she will be signed up for any and all programs she's eligible for- even, if it isn't convenient for us.
So, I don't know what has happened that I haven't posted lately, I've just...been lazy.
We are now 2 months into the experience...and every week seems to be a little different. Sometimes, things are drastically different day to day depending on the information we receive.
But, in the last week and a half we haven't heard a word about the case nor had a visitation to attend.
It's been glorious, our little "family" has gone about life as if there isn't this crazy caveat to the whole thing.
Today, we have an in home appointment with someone regarding Snarkles entrance into a program through the Health Department. My vague understanding is that they speak about the general health and milestones of the child and offer routine or emergency visits should there be any questions we have regarding Snarkles health.
She was eligible for the program thanks to the situations that brought her into care. I will admit that we could've followed up with this program sooner but honestly I did not quite understand it's usefulness to us. We have a pediatrician, wouldn't we simply use their expertise to answer our questions?
...I'm not convinced that WE need this service, but...it's not about us, it's about Snarkles and so she will be signed up for any and all programs she's eligible for- even, if it isn't convenient for us.
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