Dear Wonky,

Who could have guessed you would be so in love with Snarkles stuff?! I've caught you batting around the tops to her bottles, licking her bib, and catching some rays while lounging in her rocking chair...

Now, you have staked claim to the playmat.



But don't think I can't see past this...I know you're subtly trying to let her know who rules the roost and that her screaming will be avenged!

I don't always know...

...what to say when people ask, in reference to Snarkles, "how are things going?"

Do they mean:
A) How are things going, as new parents? Are you sleeping good?
B) How is the baby doing? What did she weigh at her last check-up? Does she eat and poop regularly?
C) How is the case going? What are her birth parents like? What is the foster system like?

I sometimes feel like I answer that question the wrong way. I've answered that simple question in each of the three ways at different times.

I don't mind talking about being a foster parent, I don't mind talking about the Baby's milestones, and I certainly don't mind telling you that, as new parents, we are fairing really well.

Recently, I answered question B in response to the simple question and wish I had just kept going and answered C while I was at it. It was someone who already knew she was our foster child but, I couldn't tell which honest question they wanted answered. After a rambling answer to B, I immediately wish I has added that "she is just like a biological child, we know her quirks, we take her to doctor appointments and we tell her we love her all the time. It's like the foster system is totally removed from our daily lives and we're this little happy family."

I wish I had answered with that because I honestly think that's what people want to know.

They want to know if our home feels invaded by Social Services, or if our schedules are screwed up because of birth parent visits, and whether or not we have bonded emotionally with this little child.

I want people to feel comfortable asking and I want them to know the truths behind foster care. We're not this weak, sensitive duo...if we were, we certainly would not be fostering...

4 month check-up is today.

Our appointment today was ironically scheduled JUST at the right time for her to be seen about her very first cold/sinus or ear infection.

Man, have the last few nights been rough. Daddy and Snarkles stayed home together yesterday and things sort of fluctuated throughout the day...she was doing good and eating in the morning, then by the afternoon her temperature had risen and she was discontent....

But, it's the worst at night. The screaming...ohhhhh baby, the screaming. She gets pretty cozy laying on either one of our's chest but the second you try to lay her in the crib on her back she lets us know that things don't feel good.

This has been going on since Sunday night...I'm writing this Friday morning.

We attributed the first two nights scream fits as her just going through a stage, maybe she was over stimulated, maybe she was hot...But by Wednesday morning her little nose was sooo stuffy that we knew something else was wrong. The red eyes made us think allergies...but I'm not sure that would have made her feel so terrible...anyway, thankfully Tylenol has helped and little missy is acting ok this morning.

Little Missy, you ask?! Yes, one of the many nicknames we have for her. GASP. Actually, in foster care you are NOT allowed to use nicknames unless they are given by the birth parents. (Given her age though, I don't think we're harming her mentally.) If you think about this, it makes sense, a child could become very confused by having one name with one family and another for his other family.

Just ramblings...

I have some free time to write and while I have no plan for what to say here, I figured I'd start typing the words/thoughts as they come to mind.

It's been a blast to be parents these last 4 months. We've only recently realized the scheduling challenges (because it's just not smart to take an infant out boating on the lake) of having a small child. It looks like she's going to get lots of family time while Dad and Mom are out perfecting (err, learning) their slaloming skills!

We're pretty much settled into parenting like any other new Moms and Dads. It's totally not the fostering experience I imagined, but I'm not complaining! At this point (for her case specifically) I can't support reunification.

I really need to take new pics of her room, things have changed so much!

I also would LOVE any book recommendations, someone LOVES being read to and I've already memorized all the good ones we have. On that note, also, as much rhythm and skill that Daddy has...he certainly doesn't seem to get the necessary poetic reading style that one must use with these books so that the words line up to rhyme. Oh well, we'll forgive him because we love him!

We also LOVE watching Daddy conduct his bands and listening to the music. Snarkles has successfully sat quietly through 3 concerts over the last 3 weeks. I'm so proud of her (and myself for handling it solo!). She wiggles and grumps quietly when the music stops but sits frozen still with her eyes as wide as cymbals when the music starts back! It's amazing, beautiful really.

We're so in love with this little girl and I think she knows it.

My only struggles these days are dealing with a long commute to work and a lack of friends our age with babies themselves. We were the first in our "group" to jump into parenting and the others aren't joining us anytime soon. She is spoiled because of that, but our social life will be completely different this summer than we're used to. As for the commute, sometimes that's also more a battle in myself of "can I truly be happy living in a small town?" Honestly, I wish someone would answer that for me...

Anyway, I'm going to wrap this up. Hope everyone out there is doing well!

The visit:

The visit was fairly uneventful, which I suppose is good. Snarkles fussed a bit and then went right to sleep from what I hear.

The logistics of yesterday went something like this:

"Daddy" dropped Snarkles at daycare and as usual left her car seat in a storage room there. I packed a separate bag to go with her to the visit and it was left with the car seat. Her case worker picked her up (at the daycare) using our car seat and they were on their way to the county social services office, where the visits are held in a visitation room. The visit was an hour and then Snarkles case worker packed her back in the seat, and then in the car, for their ride back to daycare.

There may or may not be another visit next week. It won't be at the same time if there is.