I just read the following comment, it was a response to something someone posted on a forum about her children, who were in foster care, being reunited with a half-sister in her foster home.
"I'm sorry you are hurting but it is a common event in fostering. I don't know if you are a believer or not but it is time to put them in God's hands. I know that sounds trite but you really don't ahave much recourse."
I am certain that this person didn't mean it the way I'm about to explain it, but it IS how I read it, so...regardless...
God is NOT a fall-back. He's not there because, "well, you have nothing else to rely on or believe in, so there's God."
...and, Recourse?! she wasn't posting about her situation looking for recourse, she was hoping to get support. Support is the one reason we all succeed in being great foster parents- and yes, hopefully she IS a believer in God and already knew that God's hand was over the situation- but it is still heartbreaking. Just because it's "a common event" doesn't mean she ahould simply move on and forget these children- maybe instead you could have offered her advice (from experience) on how to stay connected or ideas for saving, sharing and cherishing the memories. She needs a reminder that she did a great job in parenting those children for the time they were hers, she needs you to simply say that you're there for her, and most of all she needs time to mourn the loss.
It's a good thing I'm outspoken, right? It's probably also a VERY GOOD THING that I know when and where it's appropriate to share my thoughts...you'll be happy to know that I didn't start any wars under the forum but I do hope that the commenter finds her way here :)
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