Mixture of Emotions

I wish I was writing this with more CAPS and more exclamation points!!!!

I didn't train for this type of marathon. We can see the finish line...but we're not at the end. It's like we're running on flat land, where you can see 5 miles ahead...but you know it will take as much strength and effort of the last 21 miles to get there. I've never run a marathon but I imagine what those last 5 miles must feel like...

What happened yesterday? Well, we sat through some hard-to-hear cases and some really inspring testimony. Our case was heard! The bio-father testified. The paternal grandmother was present. The bio-mother was MIA, no surprise there. They never put our case worker on the stand, perhaps this would have been worthwhile? I don't know. It didn't happen so we won't ever know the whats/ifs and I will just let go of that.

The judge ruled to change the plan to adoption. In all my feelings, on everything else, I have neglected to realize how significant that is. It means the Termination of Parental Rights (TPR) proces will begin immediately. That will take a while, but TPR will happen. I should use more !!! here but it's just so sad that the bio-father still STILL doesn't accept that he's done anything wrong or that it's in Snarkles best future to be with us.

The court ordered a re-visit on the paternal grandmother's homestudy and set the next date 6 months out (standard review interval) for September.

I hate that I have thought about wishing away the next 6 months just to get to the "end." I don't want to wish away any of our time with Snarkles. What am I thinking, feeling this way?!

So, I'm going to vow, right now, to push the unsettled feelings away and not to worry any more. I will let these versus guide me through the next 6 months.

Matthew 6:34
Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.
Luke 12:25
And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?
Psalm 55:22
Cast your burden on the LORD, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved
Philippians 4:6-7
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.


Spring is on it's way and the analogy of that is pretty obvious. I am sure that same analogy, so often used, will apply to you too.

Together we will watch the world bloom before our eyes. Every time you see a new plant in bloom, please say a prayer for Snarkles. Every time I see one, I will say a prayer of thanks for you. You are amazing friends and family.