In about 8 minutes...

...baby Snarkles is having her first visitation since March 8th. That's roughly 3 months that we've been pretending to be this little family of our own (save for the few homevisits, WIC Appointments, and GAL visits).

Logistically, it's easy. Emotionally, it's hard. I wasn't sure I could pack her bag for the visit last night, I just didn't want to think about this innocent little girl going through this...

To use a beautiful little girl as bait for someone to get their life back on track, just seems ridiculous. She has no idea who these people are, in 3 months she has seen a lot of people more often than she has seen them.

This is what I struggle with: Do you take a 9 month old baby an reunite them with people they have no memories with?

If snarkles was 3 years old and knew a particular man and woman as her dad and mom but spent 9 months away with weekly visits, then OK, I can completely understand reunification in that instance. But, to take a 9 month old child, with NO memory of this man and woman she spends one hour with, once a week (heck, she sees a LOT of people once a week, how do you explain to a 9 month old who THESE "Once a week" people are?!)and send her home with them, just seems to be the most inhumane way to treat a child.

I'm torn up, obviously, but I have a strange peace about it all at the same time. There's a greater plan here, no matter what.

If you haven't, rent the movie Mother and Child, it's in redbox right now.

Crash.

Not that my world's been shaken, because nothing was settled, but the euphoria that was no longer is.

No news on the case, but...

We had an awesome visit this weekend from my younger brother and his wife, who unknowingly came on the perfect weekend for us...see we ended up in this bathroom remodel right at the same time we started fostering our little snarkles...let's just say, trying to put up wall tile and take care of a 3 month old is a hard job for 2 people. After an unsuccessful go at it from 9 - 11:30pm one night (which left us with a harden bucket of thin set...thanks man at Lowes for telling us it would keep, guess what...it doesn't) we were really unable to tackle the job alone.

So, we scheduled "Pa" (my dad) to come and be the designated tile cutter, while Justin was designated thin set applier and tile putter-upper, and I was in charge of the cleaning of the tile once it was up and measuring for cuts. Let's just say, even with 3 people on the job and 2 babysitters, we're ALMOST done with the wall tile...trying to put up wall tile and take care of a 3 month old is a hard job for 5 people!

Honestly, they did a great job of watching Snarkles. Thanks to Snarkles' Uncle, she heard the Indiana Jones theme song for the first time. She also graced them with 3 lovely outfits! 1st wardrobe change thanks to pee leakage (on the Uncle!) due to inexperienced diapering and then a VERY unlady like poo explosion (that left them calling for me!) in which she not only soiled herself but her swing...

So, I leave you with a progress photo of the wall tile...



OH! and I found a before...not the same close up, but it'll help understand what we were dealing with (seriously, red and yellow? IN A MASTER BATH?!...I'll spare you my thoughts on that...)