...that I admit something. I want to adopt this baby girl.
Reunification will never be what's best for her.
I will never regret doing this and yes, i know "it's what we signed up for" but it is hard. It hurts and it's scary.
I'm scared now for what Snarkles future is. I'm worried for her, because we all know how easy it is to loose ones temper or to fall back into drug using and alcoholism. I want her to know what a home is, not to move every 6 months because of eviction. I want her to feel loved and not scared that she'll get yelled at for being a little girl.
There are things that worry me but, at the same time, I feel peace and comfort whenever I look at Snarkles. I know there's a plan for this little girl's future. I hope we're a part of it the way I imagine, but no matter what- I trust that she is always going to be taken care of and watched over. We've got grandma's and grandpa's up in heaven for that kind of thing and I hope they hear me asking them to, forget about me if they have to, follow this little girl.
Tomorrow, on Justin and my 4 year wedding anniversary, Snarkles will have her first visit with her birth mom in 5 months.
The day after that, Snarkles turns 6 months old and we will celebrate.
This post is dedicated to my best friend, Andrea...who recently lost her Granny. I hope that their family feels peace in knowing that Granny's up in heaven watching them. (ps. she saw you finish that whole bottle of wine by yourself...and smiled!)
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