Another perspective

Sometimes we form opinions and can't always think our way around them without a little help.

There are options for support throughout the fostering/adopting process. We have to decide where to go to get the best and most constructive help. I've found some online message boards, they're good but they are no where near as good as talking to my husband, our MAPP class leaders, close friends, or family.

My husband always talks to me in an understanding way. He's always good to acknowledge that he understands my point of view or feelings and then does a great job of offering an alternative or telling me i'm being closed minded. I appreciate him telling me this because 1. I don't want to approach people, who don't know me and get me, with attitude or opinions that may be hurtful to them and 2. he's the only person who can really get me to change.

Then there are our MAPP class leaders who I totally trust to be straight forward with me. I respect their knowledge and advice that they offer in our classes. Their expertise in the foster care system is worth so much to me, I'm about to get into something that they have had years of experience in and that I've had what- a whole 30 hours of classroom training in. I like that they make it feel like we're going to work as a team. They'll respect us as long as we respect them...there's no better foundation for a partnership.

Close friends and family have been there to support me, talk through situations, think and dream with me, and tell me when I'm being silly. The thinking and dreaming has been the best...no one knows where this journey will lead, but knowing that friends and family care...that makes it all worthwhile.

Internet message boards have offered first hand personal experiences on fostering. Unfortunately, people react very quickly when you are looking for help. A lot of advice, comments, and sometimes opinions are formed in the heat of the moment online, even I am guilty as charged at times. You definitely have to have a thick skin to work through some of the comments that are made or at least know yourself well enough to brush off what could be hurtful. Ultimately, I appreciate the advice, knowledge, friendship that these online friends offer. I think you have to remember with this support group that you haven't had the time to develop a common level of friendship with each person who may comment and so they don't know where you are coming from and visa versa. That said, there's a lot to be found on the internet these days, friendships are one of them.

I know this seems like a post out of nowhere but I think it's helpful to identify these groups and their individual role and presence in your life while going through fostering/adopting.